Communication is a key aspect of any relationship, including the relationships between athletes, coaches, and parents. One common communication pitfall is “kitchen sinking,” where partners bring up past grievances and unrelated issues during arguments. This can lead to confusion, emotional overwhelm, and hinder open and constructive dialogue.
Here are five ways to avoid “kitchen sinking” and improve communication:
- Be Intentional
Before engaging in important discussions, decide on the specific issue you want to address and remain mindful of where the conversation is going. Avoid blaming, criticizing, and using aggressive language or tone. Use “I” statements to express your concern, such as “I felt hurt when you didn’t return my calls yesterday. Can we talk about what happened?”.
- Practice Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation involves recognizing emotions without judgment or suppression, identifying personal triggers, and employing strategies to cope with stress, challenges, or interpersonal interactions constructively.
- Develop an ‘Us Vs. the Problem’ Mindset
Cultivating an “us vs. the problem” rather than a “you vs. me” mindset can transform conflicts. This approach encourages teamwork and cooperation, which are essential in sports.
- Focus on Lessons Learned
Instead of dwelling on past mistakes or conflicts, focus on the lessons learned and how to apply them moving forward.
- Nurture Your Relationship Every Day
Invest time and effort into nurturing your relationships every day, not just when conflicts arise. Regular, positive communication can help build trust and understanding.
References: Travers, M. (2024). 5 Ways to Quit the Habit of “Kitchen Sinking” Your Partner. Psychology Today.